A Carrot, An Egg and A Coffee Bean!!!

Recently a colleague shared this story…

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed that as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to a boil. In the first, she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil, without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She then pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl.

Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me, what do you see?"

"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied.

She brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. She then asked her to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg. Finally, she asked her to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma.

The daughter then asked, "What does it mean, Mother?"

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity -- boiling water -- but each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior. But, after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

The unknown author of the story pauses to ask the question, "Which are you?"

As I think about you and who is reading this e-devotional….I’m aware that some of you are single with children, others are married with children, some have only a spouse, and some are single but all of you are trying to move forward in your career and improve yourself.   Some are working full-time, others part-time and some of you are dealing with unemployment.   Many of you are trying to manage a job, a home, an education and everything else in between.  In the midst of it all…you may be facing uncertain times, pain and suffering, loss and grief and the list goes on.    Adversity may be your middle name.

In his book entitled “21 Reasons Bad Things Happen to Good People” Dave Earley says, “One of the many good things that can come from very bad things is a clearer, bigger perspective.  More important than knowing exactly why we are suffering is the knowledge gained of God through our suffering.  More significant than receiving an explanation for our pain is embracing a bigger view of God through our pain.” (p. 35)

In other words, adversity gives us an opportunity to gain a bigger perspective of God.   Our God is an all-knowing, all-powerful, all-present God who not only spoke the world into existence, but also has all the resources to provide the very thing we need….(Psalm 50:10).  

That means that no matter the adversity you face…God knows.   No matter the forces against you…God is greater.   No matter how alone you feel….God is there.   No matter what you need…God has it. 

So when faced with adversity how do you respond?

The rest of the story goes like this...

"When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?"

Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity; do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and a hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor of your life. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hours are the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate to another level?

How do you handle adversity? Are you changed by your surroundings or do you bring life, flavor, to them?

ARE YOU A CARROT, AN EGG, OR A COFFEE BEAN? 

We're on the Move!

We're on the Move!

More than two years ago a local church opened their doors to Moriah Counseling and Consulting; a complete answer to our prayers as we obediently stepped out on faith to follow God’s plan for our lives.   We have been so blessed by the kindness and generosity of their pastor and his church in allowing us to launch a Christ centered counseling center.  Words cannot express how appreciative we are of all that God has blessed us with.   From the bottom of our hearts, THANK YOU!

Leaving a full-time, salary position and a job that was created with me in mind and venturing off into something way outside our box as a family was a huge step of faith.  Over the years we have been faced with similar situations, but each time the step has been bigger than the last and always requiring additional faith.   In February of 2012, we faced that same call and stepped out with God and His promise of “I have your backs, trust Me” and Moriah Counseling and Consulting was born.  Over two years later, God has blessed and blessed.  There have been countless stories of how God has worked and we give Him all the credit and honor.

For some time we have been feeling that God was once again calling us to something new, something bigger and something requiring even more faith.   So since March we have been in prayer concerning God’s next step for Moriah.  It wasn’t until recently that we began to capture a glimpse of what God was doing.   After a great deal of prayer and council, we have heard God say it was time for us to move our office from the church and into a new location.  So, in obedience to God and in faith in Him, on November 1, 2014, Moriah Counseling and Consulting, LLC will be located at 10983 State Road, North Royalton, OH 44133.   

This is an exciting time for us at Moriah.  Be in prayer with us as we move forward, taking a big step of faith.  But we are confident in Christ...after all He has our backs!.

Connected?

It was about 5:30pm on a Wednesday afternoon and I had just left the office. My cell phone rang and it was my wife, "Can you stop at the grocery store and pick up some shredded cheddar cheese for this recipe?”  Well on my way home, I was close enough to change my route and swing by the store.  As I walked into our home, my wife rhetorically asked with a chuckle, "What did we do before cell phones?"   Without missing a beat my 10 year old daughter, who really wanted to secretly justify her need for her own cell phone asked, “Daddy, how old were you when you got your first cell phone?”   “I believe I was about 27 years old and it was as big as one of the stone tablets that Moses brought down from Mt. Sinai!”   “That stone table, Daddy, was that before the Ipad?”

With laptops, Ipads, cell phones, Iphones and every other gadget on the planet; you and I are more connected than ever.  In fact, I wonder if we ever disconnect.   The answer is probably not!  In July 2013, the Huffington Post reported that 61% of employed Americans work while vacationing…that’s 6 out of 10 people. 

Truth be told, we are more likely to disconnect from our families and from God, before we disconnect from our jobs.   Harsh sounding?  Perhaps! But let’s be honest.  I see it nearly every day.  Kids in trouble because mom and dad are always on their cell phones taking another call, on their laptops pounding out one more report or never at home because there is just one more meeting to attend, rather than connecting with the kids.  The marriage takes a hit too.  We will talk to our bosses before our spouses. 

And what about God, have we disconnected from Him?   How many times has a headache on Sunday kept you from church, but the same headache did not keep you from work on Monday?  How many times have you come up with some lame excuse to stay home instead of connecting with the body of Christ and worshipping in one heart and spirit?   How many times have you forsaken the assembly (see Hebrews 10:25)? 

Is that you?  Are you more connected to the job or the activities of the world than you are to God or your family?  Are you proud that you work through the weekends and vacation to clear a better bottom line?  If so, then you need to refocus on God.  To start, confess your lack of connectivity with Him.  Tell him you are sorry and ask Him to empower you to make better choices to stay connected with Him.  Then go to your family and do the same thing.  

Once you have taken that step…learn how to turn off the devices and disconnect so then you can reconnect with the most important thing. 

You've Got the Gas!

About 15 years ago I decided to build a deck on the back of my house.   It was just a simple deck; nothing elaborate, no intricate detail, no fancy cuts…just a deck.  Little did I know that I picked the hottest day in July.  The thermometer read 96 degrees, the humidity was in the upper 90s, the sun was blistering hot and there was not a cloud in the sky.  By noon, I was 10 pounds lighter, two shades darker and my energy and strength had evaporated faster than the sweat that was dripping off me.  By dinner time the 2 pound hammer felt like I was swinging a 50 pound sledge.  By the time I hit the bed, my strength was gone.   

 
The next day was Sunday and when I awoke I seem to have a renewed sense of energy, life and strength.   In that moment I was reminded of Deuteronomy 33:25, it says, “The bolts of your gates will be iron and bronze, and your strength will equal your days” (emphasis mine).  Think about that for a moment.

If you’re like me, you’ve read that passage many times and have glossed over an incredible promise, “…your strength will equal your days.”  Nestled in that long wordy blessing by Moses in chapter 33 is a promise of God, that my strength will equal my day.  Have you stopped to think about what that really means?  If you haven’t, consider this.  First, it means that no matter what you face today, God has already proportioned the strength you will need to face it.  You will have the strength to face whatever this day brings, without fail.   Count on it.

Secondly, it means you do not need to worry about what tomorrow may bring, because God is already there.  God has already allotted the strength you will need in order to face tomorrow’s challenges.  The strength of tomorrow has already been put aside for you and will be graciously lavished on you, tomorrow.  What about the next day?  Same thing!  That strength has been portioned out and will, when the time is ready, be given to you. 

Finally, what all this tells us is this…God loves you!  Remember these words, “Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?” (Matthew 6:26).  God loves you, he cares for you because you matter to Him.  And because you matter, He will provide, just as He provides food for the birds, the strength you need, today, tomorrow…and so on and so on. 

So when you hear yourself say, “I don’t have the strength to go on!”   Sure you do.  When you feel that you don’t have the strength to face another moment, say to yourself, “Sure I do!”  How do I know?  Because Deuteronomy 33:25 says so, “…YOUR STRENGTH WILL EQUAL YOUR DAYS!”  Go and do…you’ve got the fuel to do it.  AMEN!

Depression!?! But How?

Last week we examined the difference between sadness and depression but we stopped short of examining what can cause depression, so let’s look.

 

To begin this discussion, let’s point out that there are no real definitive causes for depression.  Arguments can be made for any of the following reasons for depression; genetics, nutrition, drug and alcohol abuse, and several other possibilities.  To examine them all would be lengthy, let’s look at four possibilities….two this week…two next week.

 

First, depression can be caused by physical or biological reasons.  Let me make this as simple as possible.  Each of us has neurotransmitters, chemical messengers in our brains that facilitate communication between nerve cells.   A nerve cell releases a packet of serotonin through an axon to another nerve cell through a receptor.  The connection is complete when the chemical message has been sent and received.  When one nerve cell fails to produce enough serotonin, or when another nerve cell has too few receptors, depression can occur.  In situations like this, medications can sometimes help.

 

Another cause of depression is circumstantial.  We all have problems that arise and demand our attention.  These problems require the use of all of our positive coping skills, our network of good support, much prayer and scripture and a host of other vital resources.  Yet when these problems go on without a break and other problems begin to occur, we become overwhelmed and exhausted.  When the circumstances look insurmountable we can lose hope, feel helpless and isolated. 

 

While we will look at two other causes of depression later…it is extremely important to remember two things.  First, if the cause is biological or physical, God still heals.  Whether that healing is by a miraculous wonder or through medical marvels, there is healing none the less.  Second, no matter what your circumstances are, if they are over your head, they are still under God’s feet.  God still solves problems.  It may not be easy or quick, but God has a plan and can still work through our circumstances.

Depression!?! ME!?!

Consider for a moment these interesting facts… Fact #1: Ants can pull about 30 times and lift about 50 times their own weight!  Now we know why the ant thinks he can move that rubber tree plant.  Fact #2:  The average human with a full head of hair has an estimated number of 85,000 to 150,000 hairs!  And of course there are some obvious exceptions to this “average.” By the way, that same head can shed between 50 to 100 hairs each day (check your drains).

The final fact is more serious, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (the “CDC”), 1out of 10 people report being depressed.  That means that if there are 100 people reading this, 10 are facing or dealing with depression.  Stop and let that sink in for just a moment.  I don’t know about you, but that seems staggering to me. 

The worldwide statistics are indicating that depression is becoming more prevalent today than in any other time in history.   Depression can affect anyone regardless of age, education level, economic status, race, religion or any other identifier we know today.   

Now some of you may be asking “Am I sad or depressed?”  Here’s the difference.  Sadness is a normal human emotion that everyone feels from time to time.  It is an emotion that typical comes after some “bad” news, loss, separation, or as a response to our need to adjust to some new situation.  It is short lived, usually centered around an event or “cause’ and comes and goes.  It is typically acute. 

Depression is the opposite.  It typical has not root cause, meaning there is no triggering circumstance or known “cause.”  Depression carries with it a sense of hopelessness, helplessness and isolation and can last for a long time.  It is typically chronic and the typical things that lift the spirit of the sad person, does nothing for the depressed.  But to say nothing can be done is far from the truth.  Research shows that counseling that focuses on helping one change their thoughts and the behaviors that accompany them is very effective.  In some cases, medication is needed. 

But let’s focus on the big picture for a few moments and pull some lessons together from what we know.  First, everyone gets sad once and awhile.  It’s a normal human emotion that God gave us.  The ear of a good friend, a light hearted activity or opening the shades and letting the sunshine in can help.  And it’s safe to say that you don’t need a trip to the doctor for some anti-depressants. 

Second, if you’re depressed, there’s help!  There is no need to feel hopeless, helpless and isolated, you can take action.   But what if you don’t feel like taking action.   Well, it is very normal for depressed individuals to struggle with feelings of apathy and resist taking action.  Yet the longer you wait until you feel like doing something, it may be too late and we become more entrenched within our walls of safety.  Wise counsel once said to me, “Do what you know is right to do, regardless of what you feel and if you do it long enough the feelings will catch up.” 

Finally, if you’re depressed; there is hope, you are not alone, help is just around the corner.  Moriah is here to step up alongside you and to help you find your way through. 

Stay tuned…more about depression to come.  Amen!

To use Moriah Counseling and Consulting or not...that's the question!

In a conversation with a friend whose son owns and operates a Chick-fil-a restaurant, commented about an interesting statement that his son made regarding the recent events surrounding Chick-fil-a and their “Appreciation Day.”  His son said “At the end of the day Chick-fil-a sells chicken.  Not a political position, not a social statement, not a religious view point, just chicken.”   His son went on to say that the “corporate” belief system, however, does shape the way Chick-fil-a does business.   Their position shapes the way they treat the customer, the way they interact, the quality of service, the ultimate care that is taken with each person that enters their establishment. 

Occasionally I get feedback from individuals seeking counseling and investigate Moriah Counseling and Consulting for services.  Some individuals note the “Christian” counseling aspect and then dismiss our agency as a viable source of help based on our spiritual position.   They quickly assert that all we are about is forcing our belief system on them, or to make them a “believer”, or that we will shove Christ down their throats whether they want Him or not. 

So what’s the truth?  Well, at the end of the day Moriah Counseling and Consulting provides counseling services.    More directly, at the end of the day Moriah Counseling and Consulting provides hope and healing through life’s most difficult challenges.    Our beliefs shape the way we do business.  It shapes the way we love, the way we care, the way we show compassion, the way we listen, the way we guide.  Our beliefs provides us with a map that leads us to becoming the best counseling agency Northeast Ohio has ever seen. 

So the question is, “Should you use Moriah Counseling and Consulting for your counseling needs?”  The answer is obviously YES!!!  But not because we are a Christian counseling agency, but because our values, our skills and expertise, our high standards…and the way we demonstrate our care and compassion is the best.  

Chick-fil-a is a huge success!  Why?  Well, because they have a great chicken sandwich (in my opinion).  Their service is absolutely among the best.  Yesterday they had a record day because people showed their support but at the end of the day and at the end of today…they are still just selling chicken. 

We are simply providing counseling.  At the end of the day we are providing hope and healing through life’s most difficult challenges and allowing our beliefs to shape the way we provide care and compassion.   Come and see…